Dressage Jokes?

How do you get your quadrille team to ride their figures in perfect



%26gt;synchrony?



%26gt;Shoot all but one of them.



%26gt;



%26gt;What do dressage riders use for contraceptives?



%26gt;Their personalities.



%26gt;



%26gt;How can you tell if an arena is level?



%26gt;The drool comes out of both sides of the rider's mouth.



%26gt;



%26gt;How do you tell when a dressage rider is dead?



%26gt;The wine bottle is still full.



%26gt; %26gt;



%26gt;How many Dressage Queens does it take to change a light bulb?



%26gt;One. She holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her.



%26gt;



%26gt;What's the difference between a Dressage Queen and a pirhana?



%26gt;The top hat and lipstick.



%26gt;



%26gt;How do you tell when a Dressage Queen is dead?



%26gt;She's still stiff as a board, but her horse looks happy.



%26gt;



%26gt;___________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________



%26gt;



%26gt;



%26gt;A Dressage Judge, a Scribe, a Dressage Clinician and a well-

respected



%26gt;Classical Dressage Rider are walking down the street. A 100 dollar

bill



%26gt;blows across in front of them. Who gets it?



%26gt;



%26gt;The Scribe, because:



%26gt;



%26gt;1. The Dressage Judge doesn't know what's going on without

asking the



%26gt;Scribe.



%26gt;



%26gt;2. The Dressage Clinician isn't going anywhere for only 100

dollars.



%26gt;



%26gt;3. And of course, there's no such thing as well-respected

Classical



%26gt;Dressage Rider.



%26gt;



%26gt;___________ _________ _________ _________ ______--



%26gt;



%26gt;Dear Abby,



%26gt;



%26gt;I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a dressage rider and I

travel



%26gt;nearly every weekend going to shows and clinics. My problem started



%26gt;when my wife accused me of caring more about the horses than I did



%26gt;about her. I assured her that this was absolutely not true. But,

ever



%26gt;since then, strange things have been happening at home.



%26gt;



%26gt;For example, when my wife's cell phone rings, she grabs it and runs

out



%26gt;of the house to answer it. One time, I picked up the extension on

the



%26gt;house phone and I heard her say, %26quot;I'll call you back later,%26quot; and

then



%26gt;she hung up. Sometimes, she goes out with friends and comes home

very



%26gt;late but they drop her off at our neighbor's farm and she walks

home.



%26gt;Recently, a friend of ours mentioned that she had seen my wife

having



%26gt;dinner with a strange man at a restaurant in another town. She said

my



%26gt;wife introduced the man as my %26quot;brother.%26quot; Since I am German and the



%26gt;gentleman was of African decent with a British accent, our friend



%26gt;wanted to know which one of us was adopted.



%26gt;



%26gt;And that brings me to my problem. I would really appreciate your

advice.



%26gt;Last nigh, I came home late from a clinic and I noticed that the

barn



%26gt;lights were on. I walked over there to check on it and, when I came



%26gt;down the aisle way, I could hear my wife's voice and a man's voice



%26gt;whispering in one of the empty stalls. As I tiptoed closer to the



%26gt;stall, I noticed that the horse in the stall next to them was

rubbing



%26gt;its tail against the edge of the feed bucket. Dear Abby, please help



%26gt;me. Do you think my horse has an infection or parasites? And if so,

is



%26gt;it something I can treat myself or should I call the vet?



%26gt;



%26gt;Very concerned,



%26gt;The Dressage Rider
Dressage Jokes?
Kind of offended. So, your attempt at not offending people did not work. Personally, I find any joke degrading to any horse discipline, religion, race, nationality, hair color or anything else to be offensive.
Dressage Jokes?
Mort du rire......You nailed it
I kinda agree with Ajierene.... but this was pretty fuuny.
XD I'm rofling, i gotta give this to my English teacher (he LOVES horses)!!!!!!!!
I know a few funny sayings about the sport, most of which I remember from a shirt that someone I knew once wore in a lesson.One of my favorites is %26quot;Dressage riders paux de deux it!%26quot; or how about %26quot; The dog ate my score sheet%26quot; and %26quot;My horse thinks umbrellas are the equine version of Dracula!%26quot; There are a lot of others on that list, far too many for me to remember here.
yeah thats funny!
I just got home from my weekly dressage lesson, and I thought that was great. THANKS for a good giggle!
OMG SO FUNNY!!!!! THAT IS SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA lol